So Many Pumpkins!

A random pumpkin patch, outside Charlottesville, VA, on a random fall day in 1987

My mother knew how to make every holiday (and every day) special. Often, in college when I was stressed about exams or boys or other high-priority college stressors, my mother would come to town and take me on a pumpkin hunting trip. This was a great distraction technique (on which she should have written a self-help book!) These trips turned into an autumnal tradition that we carried on well into my twenties as an excuse to enjoy the outdoors and each other’s company and whatever popular song was on the radio.

We also explored many of life’s big questions–the ones that by definition have too many options as possible answers. The longer we drove the easier my college stressors faded.

On this particular trip, we couldn’t make a decision on a pumpkin. My mom would have benefited from reading a self-help book on decision-making. She was terrible at it (and she knew it). There were just too many options. Round, tall, skinny, crooked. How was one to choose the perfect pumpkin?

We had the same dilemma in choosing our favorite autumn tree. Red, orange, a blend? Did we prefer leaves on the trees or walking among them, listening to them crunch? Just too many options.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to tame my own decision-making process on any number of topics. Should we take a trip to the beach or the mountains? Should we choose beige or taupe paint? (And what exactly is the difference?) And don’t get me started on dinner options! It helps to be married to a black-and-white kind of guy.

In writing, decision-making is a daily routine. Should the character be tall or short? Should the antagonist be evil or just ruthless? Should the themes be monumental and universal or mundane but relatable? Should the tone be serious and reflective or light and humorous? And don’t get me started on naming characters!

Later in life, my mother’s decision-making method evolved into the notion of “making decisions with the information you have at the time.” Okay, not a bad approach but not perfect either. I’ve heard others say, “no decision is a decision.” Mildly helpful.

A professor once told me that the determining factor of a decision should be “does it work?” Aaah! How the heck does that help? Who determines what works? What works for me may not work for you. But perhaps that professor was onto something. Ultimately, all the hundreds of decisions that go into a story should work together to build the narrative, the character arc, and an ending that is a satisfying conclusion (although there is any number of definitions of “satisfying” including complete calamity!)

There’s also the “placeholder method.” (My own terminology!) This method requires choosing something that is good enough until inspiration leads you to the exact, perfect solution. I’ve learned to trust that inspiration will strike—sometimes at the most unsuspecting times (on the Metro, on a walk, while asleep, and yes, in the shower). It seems the mind unlocks itself when preoccupied with other tasks.

Like hunting for pumpkins!

3 Comments

  1. Ahhh decision making 😵‍💫. Always a struggle for your mom and sister for sure!! I use that quote often in life about making a decision based on the information you have at the time! Lots of truth to that!! I love that she made such great memories for you to carry into your adulthood and share with others ❤️. And doing it without trying … just being herself 😘. Thanks for sharing!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I accept the Privacy Policy

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.